Are You In Charge Of Your Own Destiny?
Do you feel at the mercy of events and things that happen to you that you have no control over?
Is the mood you?re in dictated by what?s going on in your life?
Would you like to be in charge of how you react to things that seem to be completely out of your control; the amazing opportunities as well as the rubbish stuff?
When everything?s going really well, have you ever felt scared it?s not going to last and been afraid something will happen to spoil it?
What if when you hit a bad spot, or a great spot, you were able to move through it organically and make a choice about how you are going to feel about it, no matter what happens?
You can AND I?m going to tell you why I KNOW you can.
When I?d just set up my own business, right in the middle of getting stuck in to my writing, marketing and setting up workshops I had a serious flare-up of an auto-immune illness that I?ve had for many years, which meant I didn?t feel able to work for a few weeks. It was the first serious flare up I?d had for six years.
As I got better, I got down.
I felt frightened that I could have a flare up, out of the blue, which could stop me working.? I was starting to lose confidence in my health and the impact that could have on me having my own business.
Then, I found out my ex-partner had died, suddenly, dropping dead from a heart attack having just gone out for a bike ride.
I fell into a black hole.?
I was consumed with grief and fear, which soon turned to depression, just at the time when I needed to be promoting my business and marketing myself.
The black hole nearly engulfed me; and if I?m honest there were many moments when I wished I could go to sleep and not wake up.
I use my tools all the time, but not while I was in the black hole.
I?d stopped using them.
And this I now know was my pattern.
When things ?happened? to me that didn?t feel good: for example, a row with my partner, the ending of a relationship or problems at work, I?d go down.?
How far I went down varied, sometimes a few hours, sometimes weeks and it depended on what else was going on.
The bit that ALWAYS happened was it took something external to pull me out.? It might have been some good news, someone flirting with me or things getting resolved at work.? It might even just be time.?
Whatever it was that brought me out, I realised I wasn?t in charge.
This time I wanted, NEEDED, to pull MYSELF out and quickly.
I needed to work or I was going to lose my opportunity of building my business.
I knew I needed to be engaged in life and work.? That was the hard bit when all I wanted to do was hide under the duvet.
If you want to keep moving forward despite what life is throwing at you right now, I can help you.? Book a Free Strategy Session with me now.? Click here.
This is the key!
What I was doing was fighting the feelings; the fear and the grief. ??
I?ll say that again.? What I was doing was FIGHTING THE FEELINGS.
And the way I personally fight them is with depression.
Depression is like a thick, thick blanket that smothers everything, including our feelings.
Under the blanket we feel nothing.? There is nothing to inspire us, to engage us into movement.
And so we get stuck.? We stop.
Some people use anxiety as a way to fight their feelings.
Anxiety is like holding a net over your emotions.
You keep moving the net around trying to trap the feelings and when you lift the net to capture another feeling that?s popping up, the one underneath the net pops out!
This is why, when you?re anxious you?re busy, busy, busy, flitting around, distracting yourself.
And you get stuck in this pattern.? There?s no opportunity to move forward.
Fighting our feelings is exhausting.? It saps our energy.
I knew I had to stop fighting my feelings AND I knew I had to feel them AND carry on.
What I did, was make a commitment to get up each morning AND work AND date.
I committed, no matter what, to be at my desk, at 9am every day AND to go out and flirt and date.
Reading that back now, it can?t believe I did it, from the place I was at.
That first day when the feelings of fear and grief showed up I went into my bedroom and sank to the floor.
I let the feelings envelop me.
I sank into them.
I breathed them into my pelvis.
I lay on the floor and I FELT them.
And guess what?
After a few minutes I got bored!
And then I started thinking about work and what I wanted to do next.
I noticed the feeling of fear or grief was gone.
I did this every time any feelings that overwhelmed me showed up and boy did they show up!
In those first few days I lay on the bedroom floor many times!
And as for the dating!? It was the same process, when the feelings came up and I was out on a date, I went into a bathroom cubicle and slid down the door or sank onto the toilet seat and felt the feelings deep in my gut.
I stayed there UNTIL I got bored, safe in the knowledge that the feelings would pass.? And they always do, often after only a few moments.
I committed, no matter what, to work and date.
And you know how long it took me?
Just two weeks to start to come out of the black hole.
It took me a couple more weeks to get all the way out.? However, after those first few days I KNEW how and I TRUSTED how I would continue to come out of it.
I KNEW and I TRUSTED because I was doing it.
Don?t be fooled by the simplicity of this tool. It is incredibly powerful!
Even if you aren’t in a deep state of depression, even if you are just feeling a briefer moment of sadness or anxiety, the tool works just the same to get you out of it fast and on to the road to good feelings.
If you?d like to get onto your road of good feelings FAST book a FREE consultation with me now. Click here.
In the meantime, let me know your story, what YOUR pattern is, how you find yourself reacting to life?s ?gifts?!
Michelle is Born’s Relationship, Dating and Career Coach. She will help you to feel feminine AND strong whilst flourishing in the workplace AND melting into the arms of a partner.
Telephone: 07788 710 733